


I'm Still Drinking

by BlueSkies_JadedEmeralds



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: AU, Drinking Games, F/F, Funny avengers, Heavy Drinking, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-07
Updated: 2018-03-03
Packaged: 2018-05-31 19:29:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 13,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6484621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueSkies_JadedEmeralds/pseuds/BlueSkies_JadedEmeralds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Short stories about BlackHill while/after drinking. I might include some other stories involving the rest of the Avengers. Ya' never know so please read and enjoy!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Finally Grounded

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever fan fiction writing so I feel awkward writing each chapter I have planned out and this little one is no exception. I really hope you enjoy reading this and please excuse any mistakes. Thank you : )

Just outside of Stark Industries the New York press presence was overwhelming. News vans and occasional flashes littered the side walks and street causing even more of a breaking issue with rage induced civilians being trapped in their cars. This wasn't sitting well with Maria Hill. Hearing roars and screams from the people stuck in traffic right outside her work made it nearly impossible to focus on any task she was stuck with. She briefly thought about asking Pepper why the room wasn't completely soundproof. Taking in a deep breath before pinching the bridge of her nose she shoots up from the office chair sending it flying back to the opposite wall. Stalking off from her office in search of the Black Widow knowing she had something to do with the sudden extra attention and it might also be that the Black Widow was currently all over the news.

Swiftly and precisely Maria storms through the hall ways scaring anyone away with a single glance. Noticing she was only running into Stark employees she rolls her eyes at the small group of Avengers childish behavior. Quickly deciding to not take the elevator Maria's war path takes to the stairs giving her some time to burn off the irritation. 

Climbing up the last few steps Maria notices Barton hanging around the entrance way to the floor. His head snaps over his shoulder hearing her work shoes sharp smacks against the concrete steps and shouts "Run!" Before disappearing into the air vent right above him.  
"The Avengers are all cowards!"   
A faint mumble in protest comes from a vent over to where Barton had first escaped to.  
Maria rolls her eyes again at the childish behavior before continuing her way to the Black Widows room. Making quick work she hits the rooms access panel once within a hands reach. Hearing a beep the door slides open and Maria enters into the room with an exhausted huff of air. Quickly scanning the room she barely catches a glimpse of red hair retreating behind a toppled over desk.  
"Natasha."

"I don't want to deal with this!" The Black Widows voice sounds rough like she had been yelling most of the night and into the morning. No doubt that is probably what happened along with other shenanigans she and Barton get into. All the Avengers that currently lived within Stark Tower had gone partying the previous night due to it being Stark's genius plan for team bonding. Of course this genius plan was more of a horrible ill prepared toss up between a nosey drunken God and a highly intoxicated Iron Man. Both of those men had made the night more troublesome than need be so Maria had left the small group after downing 3 beers and a shot of vodka. She doesn't remember hearing anything at all once she entered Natasha's room and flopped over onto the bed trying to let the stress from work fade away. Sometime soon she should ask JARVIS about the surveillance footage and why everyone is seemingly not home at the moment.  

"Too bad Agent Romanoff you have to." Maria lets out sarcastically before lazily pushing another button that closes the door behind her.

Natasha sprung up from behind the toppled desk frowning.  
"отвали! I don't remember yesterday at all! If I-" Spitting out the Russian word she crosses her arms in irritation before continuing on. 

"Natasha!-" Maria tries to interrupt.

"Maria! I'm not dealing with them!" Yelled Natasha as she steps over the desk and throws herself half heartedly onto the edge of her bed. Maria rolls her eyes yet again at the childlike behavior which seems to be a reoccurring theme today.  
"Nat, you nearly cleared out a decent sized liquor store and was photographed sleeping face down in a residential neighborhood. You used freshly laid down grass sod as a blanket. You have to deal with them."

Natasha rolls onto her stomach and groans out in protest. Rolling over to her back after a minute has pasted she looks at Maria with an evil smirk and a wink.  
"If I don't remember it then it didn't happen."

Maria stares at her in mild annoyance which quickly turns to anger as JARVIS' voice was heard warning everyone about the press now being inside the building. Having to act quickly she nearly punches the small button for the door to slide open again. Grinding her teeth and rubbing her temples she shouts in clear embodied rage. "You- Jesus fucking Christ-, Natasha stop drinking then!" Maria knows Natasha is following after her at a distance. She only hoped the "super-spy" was smart enough to make it up to her at a different time.


	2. End Up High

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Has anyone ever thought about what happens when Maria Hill drinks too much vodka and not enough scotch? No one else did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this will be a good chapter for everyone. I can safely say that there will be a second part to this.  
> If you see any mistakes feel free to let me know or if you have any ideas for what you might like from me next.  
> **I Fixed a few mistakes**

In the early hours of the morning a faint screeching alarm could be heard throughout the hallways of Stark tower. It's unpleasant high notes reach none of the occupants behind closed doors but one. Having been the only one to pass out in the air ducts Clint groans out a jumble of profanities before slowly easing his way out of the air vent. Placing his feet on the ground softly after precariously dealing with the air vent and the world spinning he sets off lurching towards the kitchen.

As Clint got closer to the kitchen he started to hear more than a relentless screech, in fact, the unexpected murmurings seemed to be getting increasingly louder. Pushing the doors button his face scrunches up in pain as all hell unleashes from the opening door. The smell of something burning was strongly hanging in the air as Clint walked further into a disaster zone. Stepping over chunks of ceiling, glass, and a burning chair leg he pulls at the alarms lever. It creaks under his force but refuses to budge. Letting out a frustrated groan Clint punches the lever breaking it's casing. The alarm beeps rapidly three times before shutting down. Exhaling in relief Clint goes back to making his way around the chaotic mess.

"Ah! Good, it's just you!" Stark's booming voice rings throughout his eardrums as he looks around in bitter sorrow. The scene he was unfortunately present in reminded him of the aftermath they all had to witness. The group, once after fighting and given the time, would look for people that had been caught in the middle of their battles. Everyone had their own reasons for doing these good deeds undercover but no matter what it be it left them all feeling just a tad bit warmer. Seeing this place he could almost call home get broken nearly once a week weighed heavily in the reoccurring memories.

Exposed wires from the ceiling hang dangerously low sparking every time two wires cross paths. Chard marks litter the floor and walls as Clint trekked forward after eyeing the wires suspiciously. He could see Stark's form standing over a smoking sink. Looking a bit closer he sees Stark's hand covered in Iron Man armour holding onto a small blue glowing disc. It looked suspiciously like the widow bites Natasha uses. Clint quickly turns stiff before frantically looking around.

"Please, just tell me the coffee machine is fine? Natasha and Maria will kill us both if it isn't."

Tony throws off his Iron Man glove along with the disc and climbs down from the sink. His smile widens as he gets closer to Clint.  
"Not if we buy a new one! Jarvis can you please turn the news on? Have to make sure our schedules are clear today!" He winks at Clint before rummaging through broken glass and dining room apolstery. Clint sighs at Stark's causal dismiss of something that could actually have them both killed.

"This just in we have some breaking news! Former Deputy Director of S.H.I.E.L.D Maria Hill has been spotted seemingly unconscious on top of Interstate 90's Eastbound over head sign. Earlier this morning the authorities had gotten calls from concerned drivers that a female had climb up the sign holding onto an unidentifiable bottle. The reports claim that Ms. Hill was stumbling ov-"

Wide eyed and shocked Clint stumbles over Stark's mess to the TV. The crisp picture on the screen shows a very passed out Maria Hill nearly hanging off the sign. His surprise deepens as he yells out.  
"No way... That's- That's Hill!" 

Tony drops everything in surprise to Barton's loud yelling. Blinking quickly his brain finally catching up he grins wildly at the TV. Dusting himself off he walks over to Barton confidently with an amused half smile.

"What! O, oh, oh so the hardass does know how to have fun! Perfect!" Stark yells out only to clap loudly at the end in childish amusement. Eyes sparkling with clear amusement he crosses his arms over his chest quietly chuckling.

Clint cringes at Stark's yelling being so close. Having his head feel like the Hulk had mistook it for a lemon was already a growing problem. The bright lights emitting from the TV only affecting the radiating pain more.  
"Damnit Stark why are you always so loud. My hearing won't get any better doing that."

Stark lets his arms fall to his sides before looking over his shoulder still amused at everything.  
"Well, I'm not hungover so that should answer your question. JARVIS, please record every news station that our oh so loveable former Commander is on. I want it for... later." He barks out while looking off in the distance. A smile still present on his blotchy ash dusted face.

"Of course, Sir. I'll start recording immediately but I must inquire as to how are we going to retrieve Ms. Hill?" The TV briefly has a "rec." flash on the right top corner. Jarvis awaits Tony's reply with Pepper's contact at the ready.

Shuffling around Tony hums in disappointment. Clint crosses his arm waiting for the "genius" to spill whatever disastrous plan he has. Walking around a burnt and fire damaged couch Tony smiles once again and exclaims loudly.  
"Minor details, JARVIS! Once the tiny spider is up-"

Cautious as ever Natasha creeps into the kitchen observing the scorch marks as she makes her way to the two men. Her guess was once herself and Maria went to bed he took the opportunity to tinker with the widow bites. While the group drank themselves into stupors it may have ended in everyone comparing weapons. Natasha had brought them out in protest that everything can be a weapon you just need skill.  
"... I told you not to mess with them."

Both men jump in surprise. Clint whips around to face Natasha but is met with a glare that could melt steel.  Stark carefully walks away slowly fearing the short redhead would show no mercy to him. Clint looks everywhere but at her terrifying gaze.  
"Natasha! Uh, good to see that you're up?"

Schooling her facial features she focuses solely at Clint. Her voice low and mono tone.  
"Why did you let him mess with the widow bites?"

Cringing in retrospect he steps back before attempting to defend himself. Clint couldn't help but look nervous. He had two lives to save from this fiasco. He can't remember last night and Stark is an idiot with brains.  
"Me!? I- What makes you think I-"

"The police still have not found a way to get Maria Hill off the interstate sign. They have just sent two police officers to get her. This is live people- The two officers just got kicked off! I hope they're-" The live footage from Maria's drunken problem had caught Natasha off guard saving Clint from being beaten to death.

Clint slowly turned back to the TV and watched in panic as a still drunk Maria tossed policemen off the sign. Natasha stared on in confusion and worry. She quickly grabbed a slightly melted remote and snarled before smashing down the mute button.  
"Why is Maria on the television?"


	3. A House! Home.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's just this one safe house that's pretty much claimed by Maria as a home. Natasha isn't so taken by it so when it came time to bring drunk friends home? Sometimes, a super spy can be a bit forgetful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I'm not a writer but I'll try to fix any mistakes I find or that get pointed out.  
> I'm running a little bit behind on writing but I can promise you that in July I will finally put up a story involving drunk hero's. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy reading this chapter!

Swiftly walking around a small apartment Natasha begrudgingly picks up discarded red plastic cups and crushed beer cans. Her face scrunches up in disgust every now and then as her gloved fingers touch and dip into left over alcohol. Seemingly with each passing second the stench of flat room temperature beer grows stronger making it difficult to hold in a gag as she hurries around.  
"Stark! Stop making out with your boyfriend we have to go." She yells over her shoulder before dumping the collected trash into their respected bins.

Tony pushes off the table he chose to lean on in order to talk to Steve. Stumbling slightly forwards he frowns at Natasha's tasteless teasing.  
"I am not! Cap here isn't-" He falters in his words before mumbling gibberish while looking down at his feet before catching onto how guilty that action looked. Avoiding the two's irritated facial expressions he looks off into the distance acting as if he remembered something important. Standing still with eyes wide he hoped his plan had worked even by a fraction.

Steve stares blankly at Tony looking a tad red in the face. Folding his arms over his chest he leans back in the dining chair making it creak loudly.  
"What?" Voice sharp and demanding his eyes narrow at Tony's guilty figure.  

Tony turns his guilt ridden gaze over to Steve before smirking weakly.  
"Well, I am a genius billionaire playboy philanthropist and I'm sure my fans-"

Huffing out in annoyance Natasha pokes her head up above the half wall looking into the small dining area and out into the kitchen. She throws a dingy scotch soaked rag at the two childish men. Watching it hit Tony on the side of his face made her smirk dangerously before standing up completely and stretching out her still stiff muscles. As it turns out sleeping on the kitchen counter top was a less than ideal way she'd prefer to have aches and pains throughout her body.  
"Don't care. We need to go. Now. Steve, can you please clean-"

Puffing out his chest Tony throws the rag back into the kitchen missing Natasha by a few inches. Frowning bravely he interrupts her with a mock groan of boredom and irritation.  
"You aren't even ready! Couldn't the big guy go with you anyways? You two get along really well or how about-"

Glaring at Tony's stupidity she quickly takes off the long green cleaning gloves she had put on before cleaning up the messy house. Tossing them into the sink she threateningly takes one step towards Tony jarring him.  
"Ready. Besides, Dr. Banner is busy at the tower. He left at 6 in the morning. Clint is sleeping off whatever hangover he has in Maria and I's closet because apparently it's the only dark sound proof room here and I fucking swear if we don't leave this house in 5 seconds Stark-!" As Natasha nears the peak of her threatening speech she hears a soft shuffle coming from the front door. All three occupants draw in a sharp cautionary breath. Wide eyed everyone slowly turns towards the front door stiffing in anticipation.

Leaning on the now closed front door Maria pinches the bridge of her nose and let's her clothes filled duffle-bag slide from her shoulder. Breathing in deeply she ignores the obnoxious beer smell and drops her arms down to her sides in defeat letting the duffle-bag hit the ground finally with a thump. Her tired eyes immediately get drawn to the three shocked and guilt ridden adults before settling to stare directly into green eyes. 

Steve jumps up from the dining room chair knocking into the table causing his and Tony's cups of water to tip over spilling water everywhere along with stares from Tony and Natasha looking at him in surprise. Panicking he salutes Maria before yelling along with the other two her name.  
"Commander Hill!" "Hill!" "Maria."

Running a hand through her short hair she slowly drags her eyes away from Natasha's to look at her devastated apartment.  
"Why is it always my house." Maria asked softly returning her tired eyes to Natasha's green ones. Natasha stares back apologetically as she takes two timid steps towards Maria. 

Shaking off his guilt Tony smirks confidently while striding towards the living room centre table breaking Maria and Natasha's communicative staring. Grabbing Natasha's 'borrowed' car keys he jingles them in the air while barking out orders.  
"Rogers you clean! Tiny spider and I are going to go replace- cleaning supplies." Cringing at his slip up and failed recovery he looks over at Steve pleading he step in to help. Steve merely looks at Tony with only a smug and mischievous smile.

Standing up straight Maria's tired gaze turns into a glare as she stares down at Natasha's now cringing form. Gritting her teeth tightly Maria could hardly forum any words to portray her outrage. Breathing in deeply again her hands clench into fists as she stands ridged levelling a glare at all three supposed adults.  
"Replace?"

Groaning softly Natasha tries stepping closer to her girlfriend but was met with an even harsher glare. Her shoulders drop from their usual confidence because of that and sunk slightly showing the shameful guilt she felt. Weakly Natasha smiled slightly before answering Maria.  
"They followed me?"

Letting out a small scoff Maria kicked her discarded duffle-bag over to the side more before striding over to Natasha. She lightly brushes her hand against her girlfriends before standing straight and using her 'commander' voice.  
"... I'm going to go get coffee and when I get back I expect everything to be cleaned and replaced! Do I make myself clear?" Her hands behind her back she slowly glares at each and everyone one of them. Seeing that none of them could meet her gaze she stalked out of the apartment with a disgruntled groan.

The three adults stood there in silence before Tony quickly turned towards Natasha.  
"Natasha, how do you not live in fear with her?"

Immediately Natasha rolls her eyes at Tony and looks at Steve before nodding in the direction of where he'll find cleaning supplies. "Thanks." Was all she heard as he rushed to start cleaning up the trashed apartment.  
"Hey, I asked-." Tony began but was quickly cut off by Natasha walking over to him and shoving him towards the door.

Briefly scanning the areas she could see Natasha decided to make a mental check list of everything they needed to buy instead of asking Steve once there wasting time. Once her little scan of everything was over she pushes Tony over to the door before opening it and finally answering his stupid question.  
"I don't come home drunk and wreck our home. Usually. Now shut up we have 30 minutes to get everything or go into hiding."


	4. Video Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maria and Clint get in some good friendship bonding time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I turned 21 in July. This was done on the 24th.   
> Everything in this chapter was done while I was slamming shots at 8 in the morning. Alone.
> 
> I hope you enjoy reading it! It was a lot of fun to write!  
> (P.S I'm sorry it's not on time at all.)

Storming into the 3rd safe house this evening Natasha could finally hear the two people she had been looking for since this morning. Faltering her loud stomping she could faintly hear laughing followed by small clicks and crunches. Narrowing her eyes she creeps towards the living room where the voices of Maria and Clint are.

Sitting crossed legged on the ground Maria slouched further over her red controller before haphazardly leaning forcefully onto Clint who failed to push her back off of him.   
"Gah! Mar-s-Left! Guy on the left!" Was all he could slur out before aggressively pressing on the controller.  
Snickering Maria jerks back to her poor-postured sitting looking more confused by the second as she starts smashing a button.  
"I don't know what you're talkin' about. There is no guy- Woah!"

Both sit up straight as a faint bomb sound rings out from the TV. Clint slowly starts to lean over on his left before trying to smack Maria's arm in alarm pointing loosely at the screen.  
"Shoot the guy on the left! On the left!"

Trying to shove Clint with her shoulder Maria smirks as gun shot sounds come nonstop from the TV. Faintly they could even hear other players start cursing over the loud gun shots. Her smirk only widens as the clicks on the controller became more rapid.  
"Shut up, Barton! I got this already." He throws his hands in the air before picking up a nearly empty vodka bottle that was nestled in-between them. Wobbling slightly he sloppily takes a swig cringing before handing it over to Maria who had just got done winning the game. Doing nearly the same thing as Clint she slowly sets it back down between them.

Walking more into the living room area Natasha looks around at the empty bags of pretzels and chips feeling as if she'd been left out of something. Scanning over Clint and Maria's bodies and the video game she cocks her hip before speaking to the noticeably drunk media proclaimed hero's.  
"Clint, Maria, I tried to text and since when do you guys play a video game together?"

While both are staring at Natasha they easily click both controllers start buttons making a new game start up. Clint simply gives her a big smile and a shrug before looking at the screen pressing a few buttons. Maria presses a random button while still looking at Natasha smiling. Even while drunk Maria still would try to give Natasha all of her attention because it's what she thought she deserved after everything. Teasing happens to be an easy way for the two to show affection even if it was very inconvenient. Struggling to face Natasha more Maria tries ignoring the back of Clint's hand smacking her arm.   
"Games. We are-"

Abruptly interrupting Maria, Clint obnoxiously yells out loud to annoy her since she's ignoring their game. Rapidly smashing buttons he watches on in horror.  
"Farmers! Wha- No!" Throwing his black controller in the air it crushes back down next to him.

Slowly turning around Maria watched Clint's character die by friendly fire on his death cam. Grabbing the vodka bottle between them she drinks the rest and smiles smugly.  
"Haha! Ya' fucking loser that's what you get for making that awful joke."

Growling faintly Natasha walks up closer to the drunken duo.  
"Hey! You two need to shape up we-"

Maria's head loosely snaps back to Natasha causing a wave of dizziness. She stares into her girlfriends green eyes looking frighteningly pale before regaining colour and smiling affectionately.  
"No thanks, Babe. I'm doing O-kay here." Maria carefully looks back at the TV trying to avoid getting dizzy. A smirk appears on her face as a few explosion sounds ring out. "Yes! Ka-Fucking-Boom motherfuckers!" 

Clint's mouth drops slightly as he blinks wildly at the TV screen. He sways faintly before leaning on the couch to stead himself. "How?!" He yelled out after finally processing what happened in the game.

Watching both of them sway and dip trying to stay sitting up Natasha kicks a few empty cans of beer around trying to stand in front of the duo drunkards source of entertainment.  
"No more alcohol for the both of you. We really need to go. Now. Furry-"

Clint lets his body slam to the ground getting a better view of the now blocked TV. Groaning out he kicks his legs out over Maria's. Starring intensely at the blocked TV Maria ignores Clint using her as a leg rest and smiles warmly.  
"Nope. I'm off the clock." She says as her eyes narrow trying to keep playing as Natasha walks closer to the TV succeeding in blocking more of the screen.

Craning his neck out Clint teasingly joins in.   
"Same here."

Growling out in frustration Natasha stalks around the entertainment piece looking for the gaming consoles power chord.   
"Maria, Clint, get up! We-"

Maria carefully watches Natasha look for the neatly organised chords. Appreciating her girlfriends back side she quickly smirks deviously before vaguely returning her attention to the TV.  
"We need more scotch? Yes. We need more food? Yeah. We need more- I see you, Barton!"

"No!" He yells out trying to jump up. In his struggle he had managed to kill Maria's character and escape from 3 others on the opposing team. Finally standing up and impressively impersonating the Leaning Tower of Pisa he got to watch Natasha angrily push the TV over and shoot it. Devastated he tossed the controller behind him.

Raising an eyebrow Maria carefully starts to stand up while trying to calmly talk to Natasha. Realising a bit too late that her teasing had gone passed poking fun.   
"Oh,...so why break our TV?"

Flopping onto the couch Clint whines out loudly.   
"I was finally gonna win, Natasha!" Wide eyed he groans clenching his stomach tightly before closing his eyes. Maria, using the couches arm rest as support, looks down at Clint then at Natasha who is slightly warping into a fuzzy fun mirror like image.

"You're both going to be useless! Why, of all the days there are in a year, did you start drinking heavily today?"  
Blinking heavily and swaying even more Maria tried to shrug confidently at Natasha. All the alcohol she had was working even faster after standing up. Leaning more onto the couch her vision started turning watery.  
"He brought over a PlayStation and I miss playing video games. There is no crime in that." Was all she slurred out before Clint leaned over the couch throwing up all over the ground and near Natasha's shoes.

"...An hour to shape up, Commander." Was all Maria heard before stumbling backwards crashing into a house plant. Natasha quickly pulled her up before laughing hard. 

Natasha's eyes sparkled with amusement as she tried keeping her drunk girlfriend up who'd just very nearly passed out.  
"I've got some good blackmail on you now, Love." 

Maria simply groaned and leaned heavily on Natasha's smaller forum.  
"Whatever."


	5. Work

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maria had an idea once while drinking. That idea was to help Natasha see things from her perspective.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone! I forgot to do this in the other chapters but I really do appreciate that you all read this. It's really amazing to me that anyone in general would like anything that I write so thank you. Thank you for showing me that this is read and that it is enjoyed.  
> Also please feel free to comment I'm always welcomed to criticism, tips, and new ideas.
> 
> This writing isn't actually finished. I don't really know if I will ever finish it but nonetheless I hope you enjoy reading it.
> 
> Thank you again! -

Carefully making her way across the room Natasha dances and twirls through the drunken crowd politely murmuring 'hello' and 'excuse me' before scaling the stairs where Maria had once disappeared to in the heat of the party. Holding onto a cocktail she gracefully takes a sip humming in curiosity. She had noticed no matter if the Commander was working or not that she never left a Stark party unsupervised.   
Reaching the last few steps she sees Maria sitting on the ground leaning forward staring longingly at a bottle of half empty whiskey and an acoustic guitar laid out by her feet. Humming once again in curiosity Natasha walks over to her taking notice that there's only two balcony chairs and Maria chose to simply sit in front of one. Casually, she sits askew in the balcony chair right across from Maria. Starring for a moment she takes in Maria's dishevelled yet beautiful moonlit figure. Smiling faintly she sets her drink down before leaning in closer to her 'almost' girlfriend. They haven't gone on any dates or spent long periods of time together like they use to which made moments like these treasurable even if one spent it completely drunk. It used to bug Natasha to no end when recruits would talk about Maria in such disgusting ways and she couldn't do anything about it. To be perfectly honest she did end up snapping and around 20 people ended up in the hospital. Only 12 happened to be from her the other 8 was only answered with very sexy yet secretive smirk.  
"Maria, what are you doing up here? I'm sure the Commander has a few... Suitors seeking her out."

Flinching in surprise a faint hiccup escapes from Maria's lips as she tries to straighten out her posture. Both hands making contact to the ground she glances up quickly at Natasha. Having a feeling that this plan was not going to work her watery vision showed two beautiful green eyed women looking at her with a sly smile. Begrudgingly she accepts that sitting up straight is no longer an option. A faint smirk spreads across Maria's face as she instead uses the balcony chair behind her as a back rest.  
"Hmm, such a shame for those 'suitors' then. I have someone perfect enough for me and I don't think she likes sharing." Was all Maria could say without her drunken self slurring or speaking painfully slow. She had learned early on that lying about this pretty woman while drunk didn't work out. She can even faintly remember the last time Natasha's name came up while having a few drinks, more so shots, with her friends. She was forced to take 3 months of training again by Fury because of it. She thinks it's just a nervous tick that's solely directed at Natasha.

Cocking her head to the side Natasha raises an eyebrow at Maria's bluntness. She smiles affectionately at her poor drunken Commander. Shifting in her chair to face Maria more, amusement dances behind her eyes.  
"Oh, I'd have to agree. She most definitely does not like sharing. Perfect on the other hand... That's a little far fetched."

Throwing her head back Maria lets out an airy laugh before returning her focus, or what little focus she had, to Natasha. "Says the woman herself." A faint slur could be heard as her focus shifts to unscrewing the cap on her whiskey bottle.

A loving smile briefly appears on Natasha's face. As soon as that smile appeared it quickly got replaced with a smirk. Playing around with her options she chooses to ignore Maria's last words and play southern since it pared well with whiskey. Amusement still danced behind her green eyes.  
"So, my beautiful, why's a woman like you really up here all on her lonesome?"

Immediately catching onto her loves antic Maria sloppily copes Natasha's smirk. Drinking never really dulled her puzzle solving it just switched it to be more childish than she'd like to admit. Barton found this out when she ended up laughing at his immature joke about boobs and beer for 5 minutes straight. Maria's musings stop once she remembers why she's smirking.  
"Always the gentleman now, Natasha? Well, I was tired of the crowd and I hoped to get you alone."

Chuckling softly Natasha waves her left hand in dismiss before playful nodding her head to the staircase.  
"Always and I'm pretty sure you're up here to put some distance between you and that bottle of scotch you where attached to."

Maria's cheeks flush more as she adverts her eyes from Natasha's face. The amount of alcohol she had consumed already made her whole face feel flushed but the small truth in that sentence was, in the least bit, embarrassing to admit to. However, she won't deny Natasha the truth. It's not like she could of anyways.  
"A little of that too."  
It was a weak answer but an answer she knew Natasha would smile at even if there was worry behind it. Gaining a new sense of focus she picks at her whiskey bottles label before taking a few good gulps of the burning liquid. Pulling a pained face Maria sits up as best as she could before settling on starring at the bottom of Natasha's dress.  
"I,... I wasn't joking though. You know, about getting you alone with me. I've been workin'- working on something really stupid and childish and it's really embarrassing and I don't think I could ever d-show it to you without drinking and-"

Natasha's brows furrow in confusion and worry before waving her hand slightly trying to gain Maria's attention.  
"Maria! Calm down you're rambling."

Jerking up right Maria was able to catch Natasha's worried expression before slowly slumping back over.  
"Oh- I'm- Uh, sorry."

A light laugh escapes from Natasha's lips as she leans in a little closer hoping to catch Maria's eyes again. She really needed to get that whiskey away from her but finding out what was wrong nearly consuming every thought she had.  
"It's cute."

Groaning weakly Maria tilts her head up at Natasha.   
"Humph. Well, that'll probably change."

Natasha's eyes flicker over to the whiskey bottle in Maria's lap. A faint frown pulls at her face before smiling again shaking her head.   
"Doubtful. Now what have you been working on?"


	6. Stark's Halloween Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a party with already acquired costumes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry how this one turned out but I'm just so excited! Also, since I've neglected to do this  
> \--I Do Not Own The Avengers Marvel Does--
> 
> Anyways, I just wanted to say thank you to all that read this! I hope you enjoy this (a little rushed) seasonal one shot! 
> 
>  P.s Please let me know if you'd want me to rewrite this!
> 
> Happy Halloween!- Casper

Confidently strolling into the living room Tony looks around smugly at his newest party invitee victims. He knows his more-than-usual arrogant nature attracted the attention of little less than half of the Avengers in the room. Feeling a faint twinge on his left shoulder he knew Natasha was glaring at him in suspicion. Feeling too confident about his hosting skills he simply brushed off her glare, which he's definitely sure she is glaring, and made himself a scotch on the rocks before speaking loudly to the bored looking group.  
"Alright, everyone! I'm hosting a spectacular Halloween party next week and all of you should come. You will need costumes." Taking a sip of his drink Tony just leans against his minibar waiting for the groups reply.

Steve's facial expression turns from content to worry and curiosity before looking at Tony in confusion.   
"Can't we just show up normally?" Tony smirks into his glass cup taking another sip knowing that everyone is truly considering his party and not flat out saying no like usual. Out of the corner of his eye he could see the twins fidget and whisper to each other.   
"Can I wear my suit? That's a costume!" Pietro asked as he tugged on the upper part of his and his sisters suit. Wanda quickly slapped his hand away shaking her head slightly. Seeing this only made Tony stare at the two in amusement.

Setting down his drink Tony clasped his hands together behind his back grinning. "No to both of your questions. None of that, it has to be a really well made Halloween costume! It's a Stark party after all." He finished off his sentence with a wink at Bruce. Just as he was going to make a brilliant joke towards Bruce he heard Maria sigh in irritation at him.

Watching her swirl the contents of her beer bottle around he could only wait for her to speak whatever it is she wants to say. By experience Tony knew a tipsy or just a in general drinking Maria around him and his 'careful and ingenious' planning only ended in him getting hurt.  
"Let me see if I get this right you expect us to find a costume, in a week, that holds up to a Stark party, any type of emergencies, and hours of standing around drinking with mostly strangers."

Shock mixed with his unwavering amusement flashed across his face right before a smug smirk appeared.  
"Exactly, Hill! Nice to see all that beauty doesn't hinder those brains of yours." Tony taps his temple a few times enjoying the chance to joke with the former Commander. Natasha leans heavily onto Maria as she stares directly into his eyes. Her usual green eyes turning a few shades darker. Tony could only shuffle his feet around as he stands there uncomfortably under her glare.   
"Thin line, Stark."

\----   
After lounging around for a few hours Tony finally, after drinking a little too much, takes the next step in his plan. Before inviting the group he had done a little online shopping beforehand picking out special costumes for everyone. Tony smirked before sitting up straight making a few people look to him in curiosity more specifically Bruce since they both occupied one of the couches. Of course only talking about new ways to improve everyone's choice of weaponry and in no way talking about how chemical imbalances due to high emotional levels lead to ones own views changing for the better rather rapidly. Tony shook his head slightly to regain attention towards his plan.  
"Right, well, since we're already all together and drinking how about a drinking game? It's all in good fun I promise."

Bruce quickly turned towards him in confusion. He shifts a bit uncomfortably before speaking with a little undertone of concern.  
"Tony, some of us can't get intoxicated. It'd be unfair to play a drinking game."  
Patting Banners shoulder Tony smiled with a small shake of his head. Doing this only made Banner look more concerned.  
"No worries, Bruce. The game I'm thinking about has relatively fair playing fields."

Natasha cocked her head to the side starring suspiciously at Stark. She shifted in her seat to face him directly before hearing a faint irritated protest from Maria who she had been leaning on. She quickly settled for sitting up a little straight while leaning somewhat on Maria's right shoulder.  
"I'll bite, Stark. What's the game?"

Grinning deviously Tony shuffled to the edge of the couch gaining everyone's full attention. Giving a little stretch trying to build a brief moment of suspense he watched as everyone's mild interest start to fall. Deciding quickly he needs to get to the point before all his brilliant planning went to waste.  
"Shot roulette. Each different shot filled with something nice like water or chocolate and something not so nice like ranch dressing or... Well other surprising things. Winners pick out a costume from a selection I have already chosen and last standing gets me to pick out what they're going to wear."  
Watching the group closely he caught Steve's eye as he shifted forward in his seat more. 

Unsure on what the outcome of the party could bring Steve just shrugged and nodded to Tony. If anything were to happen it'd be better for him to be there just in case. The twins just mumbled something sounding like a 'yes' and a 'I suppose I could join in'. Tony simply waved them over to tighten the circle they seemed to be in. Pietro using his super speed blurred himself to sit right next to Natasha and Maria on the floor. Wanda soon joined her brother on the floor. Maria, already having herself and Natasha make room for the twins on the couch, ended up sitting forward with an elbow on her knee looking indifferent at the situation as Natasha shrugged.  
"We're in."  
Barton who'd been strangely quite while sitting on a bar stool smiled confidently before replying. "Yeah, sure it'll be fun."

Falling backwards into the couch at this Maria sighed at having to play Stark's stupid game and that Natasha signed her up for. Taking a gulp of her kind of warm beer she muttered.   
"Not like I have anything better to do."

\----  
Having been walking around the Party for half a hour now Natasha quickly found Clint near one of the glass doors leading outside. Careful dodging dancing civilians she gracefully appeared to the right of him.   
"I just saw a Captain America kiss a Black Widow."

Barton's head slowly turns to look at Natasha with a mix of horror and amusement in his eyes. Natasha gives him a confused look before he turns his head back to where he was once looking before. Just as she was about to ask Barton what was wrong he crossed his arms over his chest pointing into the crowd of people.  
"Nat, I'm looking at what I think is an Iron Man trying to pose 'like a superhero'. I- I don't know what one is more horrible to look at." Raising an eyebrow Natasha leans closer to find his line of vision. Briefly seeing a very drunk man in an Iron man onesie she snaps back to standing up straight. Both stood there in a limbo with awkwardness and cringe before shaking it off.  
"Oh, I see it. Mine at least looked nice enough. Where's the twins and have you seen Maria?"

Barton uncrossed his arms and vaguely waves a small plastic bow to the left of him as he searches the crowd of people for more costume horrors.   
"Twins are on the left sitting down out of the way and as for Maria I don't know. Haven't seen her since she lost last night and Stark hasn't said a single word about what her costume was going to be."  
Nodding her head at his answer she pulled at the 'plaid shirt' absentmindedly while fixing the cowboy hat on her head. Having way too much skin showing Natasha tried already to untie the crop top fashioned shirt only to find out the knot had been sewed preventing her from easily altering the costume. Pulling at the cut off shorts she was wearing made her think of how well the costume was made. Everyone's costume looked to be hand made and with good strong fabric.  
"Hm. Well, at least Stark actually got us good costumes."

Quickly looking to Natasha, Barton made a short laugh before once again waving around a small plastic bow towards vague directions where all the Avengers were.   
"I'm robin hood, you're a cowgirl, the twins are thing 1 and 2, Rogers is-"  
Hearing the slight pause Natasha spoke up to help him. She took a second to see how the twins were doing. The twins were just dressed in all blue with 'Thing 1' and 'Thing 2' shirts on and some fake hair colouring. She'll have to tell Maria that Tony has a soft spot for the twins now too.  
"A police officer with a sparkly uniform."  
Starring unsure at seeing Rogers sparkle from across the room Barton nodded very slowly before continuing.  
"Yeah that and Dr. Banner is a pirate. I wouldn't say good."  
Natasha raised an eyebrow at him. Sticking both hands into her shallow pockets she just shrugs at him.  
"It's all made well and it's something that people really wouldn't think they'd see us in."  
Huffing out a sigh Barton crosses his arms knowing Natasha had point even if he wished he could win at least one time.  
"I guess so."

Minutes pass as both Natasha and Barton stand around pointing out different party goers and terrible costume mishaps. Noticing something big enter the room from the right Natasha eyes it with suspicious trying to see through the crowd that seems to have gathered around whatever, whoever it is. Seeing Stark rush over grabbing the crowds attention away from the poor thing could she finally see what it was. Never has she been so amused at a party. Smacking Barton's arm she smirks at his flinching.  
"Who invited Hello Kitty?"  
Forgetting the faint pain in his arm he quickly scans the crowd for the unique costume choice. Not taking long to find a giant white cat in clothing he breaks out in laughter.  
"No way! Hahaha! Hey, Nat you should go ask for a picture since I know how much of a fan you are."  
Annoyance replaces the amusement that was on her face as she glares at Barton.   
"I am not a fan. Your kids fell asleep on me and I was forced to watch it." While it is true his kids did fall asleep on her and she was kind of forced to watch it but it was more willing to watch. She may even have bought a few or 10 episodes.

Barton smiles cockily at Natasha knowing she's lying. He's seen her fall asleep with it playing on the computer a few times even but he'll keep the secret for now.  
"Yeahh, sure. Get a picture with the kitty, cowgirl."

Punching Barton before walking away Natasha navigates her way through the dancing and stumbling crowd. The feeling of having too much skin showing pops up again making her move hastily to the outer edges of the party. Quickly pick pocketing a drunk party goer for their phone she manages to get in and have the camera ready as soon as she stood in front of the Hello Kitty. While she had made her way to the cat she had noticed it's head following her ever so slightly. This made Natasha tug at her damn tied up shirt right before stopping in front of it.  
"Hey, mind if I get a picture next to you?"

It's head moves downward slightly before a muffled irritated sigh came from inside. Natasha questionably looks at the thing right as the muffled noises got louder and clearer.  
"Not if you don't mind reminding me to kill Stark."  
Not knowing what sound to make Natasha ends up with an abruptly short laugh and a gasp.  
"Maria!"  
Maria waves her hands within the suit to keep Natasha quite but was only successful in waving the suits arms up and down spasticity.  
"Keep it down, Natasha!"  
Holding a hand over her mouth Natasha tries hard not to laugh at her wonderful girlfriend. Even if at the expense of her love Stark will be getting a gift basket for finally hosting a party she can approve of. Breathing deeply Natasha tries speaking without laugher in her voice.  
"A- He gave you- You're a kids cartoon character."  
Maria awkwardly manoeuvres around in the suit to fully see Natasha's costume but it was all in vain since she could only see her shoulders. On the outside Natasha could only see the suit wiggle around briefly and the head jerk down only to hear a few curse words come from within.  
"And you're not?"  
Looking down at her costume then back to Maria who's still trying to see what it is. Smirking Natasha pushes the suits head up laughing.  
"Well, considering a cowgirl can ride. No."  
Fighting to reach the suits head to get it away from Natasha, Maria does everything she can except break free from the hell made suit. With a huff and a classy 'Fuck you' Maria gives up and attempts to place both hands on her hips.  
"Do not be a smartass."  
Letting go of the suits head Natasha laughs loudly. Maria being able to see Natasha again drops her arms and sighs wanting this night to end. A quick look up Natasha tries speaking through her laughs.  
"Pfft- Don't- don't do that! That's adorable!"


	7. BIG (ish) UPDATE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Want to know what I’ve been up to? Me too!

Hello, hello! I’m terribly sorry it’s been over a year since updating any of my stories. Truthfully I actually have been writing, and mostly rewriting, chapters for this lovely lil’ thing and my other story ‘I Will Wake’ but due to myself being the ever fantastic A.D.D human it was almost as if I was pulling teeth to write some of the stories. Now, don’t be disheartened by any of that! I will be writing more plus adding new stories with different fandoms!

So, I do need some help from, well, anyone willing to comment or contact me.   
I’d like to know if i should let you, the readers, pick out which chapters to work on the most! I have simple text conversations already written up that help with the direction of the chapter(s) which I can easily post here giving you all the choice! Second thing is I do need some helpful tips and tricks for writing while I was proficient in Literature during school I lost a lot of drive to be happy with what writing involves and could use some helpful enlightenment if you will.

I hope to hear from any of you soon! I cannot wait to start writing again!

Sincerely,  
Casper


	8. Update!: You have the power to choose!

So, as I’ve said I have text already written up for some chapters and I need help with which ones I need to focus on more instead of giving all ideas equal attention. It’s important to know that the text I’ve written is not the final dialogue to the chapter it’s more or less a guide line for myself to remember what directions I need to pull towards. I really hope this all make sense to y’all and that the format I have it set as is easy to understand as well. I look forward to hearing from all of you!

Sincerely,  
Casper   
P.S You can just say 1,2, or 3 when referring to those options and you can even rearrange them from top priority to least!

———  
Option 1 “I More Than Really Like You?”

Maria prov   
N: "Please, shut the damn door. I'm trying to forget today."  
M: "No, you're trying to die from alcohol poisoning. I've been standing here for 20 minutes now and each time you try to chug that shit down it comes back up. That's enough."  
N: "No! I'm not even drunk so please-"  
M: "No way! I'm not letting 'the Black Widow' try to drink herself to death! Get up and throw your big girl panties on, Buttercup. You got shit to do tomorrow."  
N: "No! Why would you do that!?"  
M: "Natasha! Look at me. Look. At. Me. You've seen each and everyone of us nearly die. You've seen our trained men die. So what if this went as south as it could get. We will get revenge, we will complete the new mission, and they will be honoured as the brave men and women that they are. We do this all the time. What happened that makes it different?"  
N: "I was cornered in I could only...  One of the men got to hold his baby once before getting called in. Look just go away."  
M: "You could of came to me or Barton."  
N: "It's so fucking stupid."  
M: "It's something you value."  
N: "I kill people."  
M: "As do I."  
N: "You're lucky I really like you."  
M: "Really like?"  
N: "I more than really like you?"  
M: "Good, now come on. You need to burn off that alcohol and maybe I can take you on a date sometime? After the hospital."  
N: "No fun."

———  
Option 2 “Started Low End Up High”(Part. 2)

C: "I-wha- I thought you'd know! We where all drinking last night-"  
N: "You and I are going to go get her. Stark! You better get this cleared up or I'm going to make your life hell."  
T: "Now, what happen to saying please?"  
N: "Stark!"  
T: "Okay, calm down no one walked into your web, little spider."  
C: "Alright! Bye."

C: "It's so bright out. Natasha, why couldn't you have just killed me?"  
N: "Knowing Maria she's probably completely up, wanting coffee, and very mad she had gotten herself into this type of situation. I needed an easy target for her."  
C: "W-we don't have coffee."  
N: "We would of if Stark didn't destroy it!"  
C: "Not helping the hearing, Nat."

-"Ma'am! You cannot enter the restricted area! Please move a safe distance away or we will use force!"  
N: "Do you know who I am?"  
C: "Oh, no."  
-"Ma'am I cannot-"  
N: "DO. YOU. KNOW. Who I am?"  
C: "Just let us through so we can grab our friend up there. From what she told me it's gonna get worse."  
-"I-uh-Of course! Please-"  
N: "If you want to keep your tongue. I suggest closing your mouth."  
C: "Thank you."

N: "Maria!"  
M: "Fuck off! Everyone needs to leave, I'm fine up here, now."  
N: "You're just making your public apology longer and I think our lawyer is going to need a huge tip."  
M: "What's Barton doin' here?"  
N: "Came with to save your ass now let's move it. You can tell me in the car how you got this drunk."  
M: "Coffee. Sleep."  
C: "Tony broke the coffee maker."  
N: "Goddamn it, Barton!"  
M: "He what? Tell me that's not true! Natasha! He fucking broke the coffee-! I'm going to kill him."  
N: "As promising as that sounds, love, lets get coffee first and food. You spent the night, I think, on a sign. While cars drove by. You can barely stay asleep once my breathing changes."  
M: "Drank whatever-the-fuck moonshine from South?"  
C: "How are you alive? I tried once and I was puking, stumbling, and in the medic bay for 3 days! Natasha, your girlfriend is actually immortal."  
N: "We're having a talk after this."  
C: "Oh, gross."  
N: "You just had to say something. Could of been something sweet and nice but no. You, Clint, just had to bring up puking."  
M: "Shut up both of you."

———  
Option 3 “Cigarettes And Rainbow Twirlers”

M: "I need to go buy cigarettes. Natasha, you wanna come along?"  
N: "Yeah, sure. We could even take the rainbow twirlers."  
C: "Fuck yeah! Light sabre fight with that shit!"  
N: "Cool, let's go."  
M: "Come on ya' loser! I'm winning!"  
C: "No you aren't! Come here!"  
M: "Hahaha! I got a rainbow tail now."  
C: "Nice!"

N: "What's taking so long?"  
M: "Card won't go through."  
-"Ma'am, the card has already gone through. I think."  
-"You gotta enter in the code."  
M: "I don't know what to do! I want cigarettes!"  
N: "Here, take my money. It's fine I wanna get out of here anyways."  
M: "You sure?"  
N: "Yeah, it's fine. I just want to leave."  
-"The card already went through! It's paid for."  
-"Look, just cancel and take the money."  
N: "Let's go..."  
C: "Hey, you gotta flip off the sign. They screwed us over. Unless, you're a bitch."  
M: "I'm not and you know it!"  
N: "Hey, if you don't wanna do it then don't... Pussy."  
M: "You know what!"  
M: "There. Happy now you demanding brats." 

M: "...I hate life so much."  
C: "I peed myself."  
N: "W-wha- Hahahaha! What?"  
C: "I woke up on the ground somehow, since I remember laying in my bed, covered in my own pee. Don't. Tell. Anyone."  
M: "Hahaha."  
C: "Hey! At least I wasn't a white girl for hours puking up black shit."  
N: "Be nice. I have blackmail now."


	9. LAST UPDATE!

So, after some days of waiting and a few comments later it turns out y’all really want different things but thankfully there was one vote that gave a clear winner! (To what story to focus on that is) 

The results are...!   
Option 1 “I More Than Really Like You” in first place followed up by Option 3 “Cigarettes And Rainbow Twirlers” and lastly Option 2 “Started Low End Up High”   
These results are still up for change if others hadn’t had the time to pick until now or later on so do not fear if Option 1 was your least favourite!

 

I will be silent (In posting) until AFTER Holiday because as it so happens to be a very busy year. I can promise that, if Option 1 is still the winner, will be posted in the FIRST WEEK of the new year! Woo! Now, I hope everyone’s Holiday will be amazing and relaxing. :)

 

Sincerely,  
Casper

P.S Option three actually happened IRL between a family friend and I. I’ll have the full RL story in the summary when it gets posted!  
P.P.S Also sorry this is all rushed I have a lot of painting/drawing to do as gifts but didn’t want to leave all of you in the dark.


	10. Holiday Cheer Kind of Sucks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Small surprise for y’all. I hope you enjoy this two part story I had typed up for the holidays.

Standing at an open door Tony stares into the room looking directly at an annoyed Maria Hill. Her face blank as she stares back at his now widening grin. Earlier that day Tony had started telling everyone, as everyone needs a good holiday, a party would be held for the team. Since Maria seemingly ends up knowing everything he guessed a ‘simple’ staring contest was in order to get her to go. He watched as Maria set down a few files on the table in front of her. Hands placed on her hips and a now tired glare showed.  
"No."

Giving an amused look Tony leaned against the doorframe with his shoulder smirking ever wider. He had already came up with a plan to hopefully persuade her if the staring part didn't work. She hates arguing for too long on small insignificant matters, usually, and a more than usual excited Pepper Plots. Crossing his arms in front of him he decided it was time to do one of the many things he can do best, annoy people until they agree or want to kill him. He was clearly hoping for the better of the two outcomes.  
"Yes! You'll be pleasantly surprised Hill and since when has a party of mine ever gone wrong?"

Exasperated Maria pinches the bridge of her nose looking up at the ceiling. Tony closely watched her free hand clench into a fist.   
"Multiple times. If you haven't forgot-"

Pushing off of the doorframe lightly he waves his left hand around making Maria pause in her sentence.  
"Alright, alright. That's minor details! It's a Holiday party after all. We'll have classic festive music, traditional pun-"

"I don't-"

Another wave of his hand stops her once again.   
"As I was saying traditional punch, Banner is actually coming over with a tree, Thor stated, loudly, that he'll read a poem-"

"Stark."

Tony simply speaks louder to drown out Maria's tired voice. He'll surely win in no time considering talking is what he does best, besides all the other things.  
"I'm making Steve wear an ugly light up sweater, Natasha is in charge of what alcohol to get-"

"Stark! Shut the fuck up!"

Tony stops midsentence at her command. Looking around quickly he sees nothing worth throwing in his direction. A mild chance of getting hit by Maria was a possibility but her tired stance was enough to pursue the rest of his plan.  
"Okay didn’t even let me tell you what I was making Barton do but I suppose I could. Oh, one last thing though... if you don't say you're coming now I'm just going to have to tell Pepper."

Maria grimaced at the small threat.  
"You wouldn't."

Happily clasping his hands behind his back Tony gives Maria a big smirk.  
"I would."

Taking in a deep breath and blowing out forcefully Maria storms up to Tony levelling him with a glare.  
"Damnit, Stark! Nothing and I mean nothing better go wrong or I'll personally torture you slowly for months."

Avoiding Maria’s eyes Tony backs away a few feet before smiling.   
"So, you're going to attend?"

"Yes."  
Was the last thing he heard before the door got slammed shut. His plan worked at least.


	11. Holiday Cheer Kind of Sucks pt2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ta Da! Last bit of the surprise! I know it sucks but that’s how I wanted it to be. ‘Cause the whole “Holiday Cheer Kind of Sucks” ya’ know? 
> 
> Anyways, I hope you can enjoy it!
> 
> \- Casper

Stepping out of the elevator Clint absentmindedly scratched at a bandaged cut while looking around confused. He was asked by Stark to get Natasha to go to the Holiday party since he apparently lied about it to Maria in order to get her to go. Rolling his eyes and getting a few more scratches in he sets off to the workout room. He had checked everywhere Natasha would be even braving Maria's irritated state to ask if she's seen her. Of course, as always Maria had glared at him and questioned why he needed to know where Natasha was. It was a terrifying situation and now he needs to rent a few movies.   
Clint takes his last strides towards the workout room faintly hearing music playing even though he had this 'small' listening problem. It was rare for Natasha to play music loudly while passing the time exercising but not completely unheard of.   
Pushing the door open Clint makes sure to knock on the wall hard avoiding any bodily harm even if he had noticed her facing away from him.  
"Hey, Nat, you got a moment?"

Natasha's head moves slightly towards his direction indicating she had indeed heard his arrival. Waiting patiently Clint watched her finish up a set on the punching bag. The music lowers in volume as she turns around to face him giving a small smile.  
"Yeah, sure, why?"

Making a begrudging face and letting out a huff of air Clint cautiously moves towards Natasha. Tapping his left hand on his pants made it a tad easier to face the 2nd person in the whole 'No-Stark-Parties-Or-Death-Will-Come' club.  
"Well, Stark's having a party-"

Immediately Natasha shakes her head and cuts Clint off in his sentence. Irritation appears on her face along with a cocked hip.  
"No."

Clint briefly thought it was a loosing battle to even try to convince her but now being involved with Starks stupid plan he figured trying was his only safe way to get out of trouble or, well, the only way out with little injury.  
"Oh c'mon, Nat! It's a holiday party for all of us!"

Natasha's jaw twitches as she bits her tongue. Taking a deep breath in she evenly keeps her voice smooth and void of emotion.  
"No."

Closely watching Natasha’s action Clint steps back a little for safety reasons. He could only muster up a pitied smile knowing she's going to be really tired of Stark's shit. He thought the supposed ‘genius’ should do the rest of his own dirty work after this event.  
"Not even if I said Maria got convinced to go?"

As predicted she tensed up then relaxed moving her shoulders in a faint circle. Eyes turning stone cold. Her posture reminds him of all the times she was worried about Maria. Natasha's facial expression remained nurtural nonetheless hiding what her actions couldn't Clint noticed. A soft spot for Natasha will always be Maria especially after a huge fiasco that involved Maria being shot twice, a Hulk sized hole through two metal walls, and a broken window.   
"Maria got looped into the party?"

Nodding his head Clint shuffled around slightly becoming uncomfortable at Natasha’s inner battle. He should sell tickets to the beating Stark is most likely going to get after this.  
"Yep."

Off handedly Natasha mumbles out.  
"I'll have to keep her company then. I thought you were going home to your family?"

Sadness washes over Clint. As much as he misses them he was told to stay to stop the deadly 'power couple' from murdering Stark. A funny but serious conversation with his wife. It also bothered him that, even after all these years, Natasha couldn't refer to his family as her own as well.   
"You're family too, Natasha. I was going to but when I told my wife about Stark having a party she said I had to be here to stop both you and Maria from killing him besides I'll be heading home the next day after the party."

The music that was playing in the background stopped just in time to hear Natasha give an annoyed hum. She walked over to one of the benches and grabbed what looked like a phone from it’s metal surface.   
"How nice."

Giving off a wide grin Clint followed her over to the bench and quickly sat down happily stretching out.  
"Are you and Maria coming over as well for the Holidays? The kids keep asking for "Auntie Nat" and "Aunt Mia" every time I call them."

Natasha’s eyebrows rise in amusement.  
"Aunt Mia?"

Leaning back Clint presses onto the wall which thankfully the bench was pushed against and laughs. For a while he had been teaching his children to call Maria ‘Mia’ just because she hates it. At every chance he would immediately correct them but now isn’t the time to admit to that little prank.  
"I may have called her that once or twice in front of them."

She simply stares at Clint while nodding slowly. Not even on her death bed would she believe he ‘may have once or twice’ called Maria that.  
"Right. She'll kill you, you know."

Clint laughs full heartedly as he gets up from the bench. A relaxed shrug was all he gave Natasha once the laughing died down.  
"The kids love calling her that so I'll take my chances. I'm gonna let you finish beating the crap out of that punching bag."

Before he could step away Natasha grabbed his arm. She gave him a wicked smile as she let his arm go.  
"You can't get out of sparring with me at least once Barton."


	12. I More Than Really Like You?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I missed my 12 AM deadline but I still made it! Here is the winnning lil’ chapter! Now, it might be hard or difficult to read because a LOT happened when I worked on this so feel free to point out missing words, spelling mistakes, and all that jazz. I don’t have anyone to help me out with all of that so please don’t get too discouraged to keep on reading! 
> 
> Hope all of you had a good New Years and enjoy reading!  
>  \- Casper
> 
>  
> 
> ——————————————  
> After all this time Natasha is finally making a breakthrough with understanding her emotions. Falling in love with Maria Hill definitely gave it that little push but it's hard to deal with. It's hard because she was getting to know the team she worked with often. It's hard because one of them has a wife. It's hard because that wife just had a baby. It's hard because everything went south.

Standing at the door way to the bathroom Maria stared down at the crumpled mess that is Natasha. Her body shoved up against the toilet and wall. Empty bottles of varying hard alcohol littered the wet floor. Had this been just another agent they would have easily become poisoned by the alcohol it's an out come Maria has experienced before but, at closer inspection, any normal human would be dead by now.

Maria hears her let out a pained huff of air.   
"Please, shut the damn door. I'm trying to forget today." Muttered Natasha her head still hanging down inches above the toilet bowl. Braving the mess Maria steps into the bathroom looking around for more bottles with alcohol still in them. Ignoring Natasha's words.  
Whatever happened out there has dug into the deepest wound for Natasha. A great feeling of sadness washes over Maria's body. She should of reviewed the mission more, should of reviewed if every person was optimal before even assigning.

Guilt settles deep within the pit of her stomach. Carefully pushing bottles aside she could only hear the cracks coming from this person so dear to her instead of the clinks from glass bottles hitting each other. After all the progress and problems solved she couldn't stand to see Natasha broken down like this. Anger ignites behind her eyes as she shakes her head clearing away her own emotional distress.  
Quickly crouching down to Natasha's level she takes a deep breath in returning to her more commander like headspace baring hope it won't make things worse.  
"No, you're trying to die from alcohol poisoning. I've been standing there for 20 minutes now and each time you try to chug that shit down it comes back up. That's enough."

 

"No! I'm not even drunk so please-" Natasha's voice sounded rough and overly pleading. A flash of liquid sloshing around in a bottle next to the redheads right leg caught Maria's attention. She painfully watched as Natasha fought to keep herself up right. She felt every muscle tense and lock up wanting to help but kept still figuring if Natasha got help now she'd hold it against her later. Always stepping around each other is easier to deal with than what they feel.   
Maria leans over to Natasha grabbing the last half emptied bottle. She feels green eyes follow her hand holding the bottle.  
"No way! I'm not letting 'the Black Widow' try to drink herself to death! Get up and throw your big girl panties on, Buttercup. You got shit to do tomorrow."

Cringing at the break of her voice in the beginning of the sentence Maria stand upright and dumps the rest of the alcohol down the bathroom sinks drain. Watching the liquid run down the drain gave her the faintest flashes of her life growing up but it was quickly cut off by an angry groan.

"No! Why would you do that!?" Natasha scrambles up from the corner jerking and swaying her way to the sink. Maria stumbles backwards all the while keeping her hands hovering over Natasha’s. 

Maria gently grabs ahold of Natasha’s right arm. Her eyes wide at seeing this beautiful green eyed woman look torn apart by watching liquor drain away.  
"Natasha! Look at me. Look. At. Me. You've seen each and everyone of us nearly die. You've seen our trained men die. So what if this went as south as it could get. We will get revenge, we will complete the new mission, and they will be honoured as the brave men and women that they are. We do this all the time. What happened that makes it different?"

Natasha’s drunken body swiftly turns around to meet Maria’s. Green eyes bloodshot and dull stared directly into her own blue ones. A sense of tiredness stilled the air around them.   
"I was cornered in I could only... One of the men got to hold his... baby once before getting called in. Look just go away."

Pushing on Natasha to get her to lean on the sinks counter aided in trying to keep the lethal woman standing. Maria brushes her finger tips against the stupidly drunkard’s wrist.  
"You could of came to me or Barton."

 

"It's so fucking stupid." Natasha managed to groan out as she gripped hard onto the edge of the counter.

Scooting back Maria bumps more empty bottles around. The sharp high pitched sound making Natasha wince in pain letting the counters edge go nearly falling onto Maria. Keeping both hand on either side of Natasha, Maria slowly starts to push the bottles away from them with her boots.  
"It's something you value."

 

Tired green dull eyes looked to hers in despair.   
"I kill people."

Noticing Natasha is no longer swaying about and is freely standing upright she lets her arms drop to her side. Tensing up again Maria holds back reaching out to Natasha. It took almost all of her self control to stop from pulling Natasha closer but she couldn’t.  
"As do I."

Natasha shakes her head letting out a soft laugh.  
"You're lucky I really like you."

Maria raises an eyebrow at the change of mood. Happy to have helped in some way to break this destructive behaviour.  
"Really like?"

The most warming smile appears on Natasha’s face as she pulls on Maria’s sleeve. While it may seem like Natasha is not as drunk as she was Maria knew there was more for her body to burn. She couldn’t keep the smile from forming at Natasha’s words though.   
"I more than really like you?"

Crossing her arms she smirked at Natasha. This woman will be the death of her.  
"Good, now come on. You need to burn off that alcohol and maybe I can take you on a date sometime? After the hospital."

A hum of disappointment escapes from Natasha. Green eyes still tired but now more lively showing the amusement behind them.  
"No fun."


	13. Cigarettes And Rainbow Twirlers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This actually happened between myself and a family friend while drunk. I, however, made my personal story of (Really nearly life threatening) alcohol poisoning to have three people and a lack of how much complaining I did about my stomach feeling horrible. I did not go to the hospital as I should have and I highly suggest if you or family/friend(s) have alcohol poisoning please go. Also, please be responsible while drinking it can be really dangerous for you and those around you.
> 
> Okay, I'll stop being concerned and let you enjoy reading this chapter!  
> P.S The "*" are to indicate what I actually said and the ones with no marks are what the family friend said. I did this because curiosity is sometimes never satisfied. - Casper

Both Maria and Natasha sat on different couches opposite of each other while Clint laid stretched out on another couch facing the big TV someone drunkenly bought a year or two ago. The house they're all residing in happens to be one of the more favourable safe houses between the four others scattered throughout the town. Clint, surprisingly, was the one to have pointed out the house to Natasha one late night out.   
Having been drunk that fateful night they scouted out the area then proceeded to break in claiming they had to be as sure as they were outside for this place to be the new safe house. The next day it was bought and very causally mentioned to Maria over a cup of coffee. She, after hearing their brief story, shook her head jokingly giving the house the name of "Liquor Store" knowing it'll end up being a fire hazard with all the alcohol they'll bring in.   
Now, as they all sit on different couches almost too drunk to walk did the house actually become the home. A touching moment if it weren't for their overwhelming inebriated state.

Natasha sat unmoving on the two person couch Clint had picked up from the side of the street two weeks after 'moving in'. It was washed more than 4 times before Maria even considered bring in the small couch continuously bringing up the fact that they could afford nice new ones but even with all the trouble it was the most comfortable couch out of them all. Natasha could only assume it had been from someone's study left to bask in the sun being barely used. It's ornate features and faded red-orange colour at least gave her the incentive to assume that. Noticing her vision slowly returning to normal it tore away her attention from the couch to Maria just across from her shuffling around. She could see Maria's facial expressions change from skeptical, confusion, and lastly to annoyance just before throwing her hands up into the air only to let them smack her thigh and the arm of the couch when they fall back down heavily. An uncharacteristically flamboyant gesture but nonetheless adorable to witness.

"I need to go buy cigarettes. Nat, you wanna come along?" Said Maria with a slur and faint southern accent. A very charming quirk though ultimately concerning for Natasha. That adorable subtlety only happened when Maria was dangerously close to reaching her alcohol tolerance. Maybe she should remind the two ever worsening drunks that they shouldn't match her drink for drink although perhaps later on when they'll be able to remember better.

Softly smiling at Maria, Natasha dragged her body to sit up straight on the small comfy couch nodding her head as she did.  
*"Yeah, sure. We could even take the rainbow twirlers." Carefully leaning over the arm of the couch she grabbed at the rainbow coloured strips of fabric. Grunting slightly in pain at her shoulder popping unpleasantly. She could see Maria out of her peripheral vision stumbling over to help grab them. The whole reason everyone had gotten drunk was because of a rather rough 'side' mission. What was suppose to be a simple information grab turned into a clusterfuck of flashing lights, bullets, and herself being the main target of getting thrown at walls and windows. Wincing slightly at the fresh memory and overall fresh wounds caused Maria to lay a soft hand on her cheek. Natasha gave a slight nod then a roll of her eyes. Drunk Maria had some very odd ups and downs.

Excitingly throwing his body off of the couch Clint smiled wildly at the pair.  
"Fuck yeah! Light sabre fight with that shit!" He said while swinging his arm around making shockingly good light sabre sounds. His swings, of course, caused his body to turn with them making him look more childish and drunk than what he really is. Maria laughed loudly at his impaired actions.

Humming softly at the two Natasha shuffled around them making her way to the door grabbing their attention. Gesturing to the door she spoke loudly to them.  
*"Cool, let's go."  She watched as Clint and Maria bumped into each more than enough times attempting to walk. A hilarious sight to see but very unproductive considering the repercussions. Maria gets a little to irritable without her cigarettes after a long night of drinking it's a fact she and Clint know well. Natasha shook her head and slightly guided the two out of the house before handing them the twirlers and pushing them towards the direction of the gas station.  
———

Tripping up every so often on the groups little half mile adventure made Natasha smile at how they must of looked to other people driving by. With the alcohol burning through her system fast and not caring to drink more to make up for it she had chosen to walk behind the two swaying idiots. Amusement shone bright within her eyes as she watched separate flailing arms trying to hit each other with any part of their twirlers.

"Come on ya' fucking loser! I'm winning!" Maria exclaimed proudly as she shows off her ability to still walk backwards. Cockily tilting her head up and giving a smug smirk to Clint she spun back around boot catching a rock as she did. Natasha tensed up as she saw her stumble fearing she'd only hurt herself more if she kept up teasing Clint. Clearly it wasn't as much as a problem as she thought since he didn't notice the slip up. He only looked questionably at his outstretched arm twirler in hand softly blowing in the breeze.

*"No you aren't! Come here!" Clint shouts as he tries to run up to Maria, flailing his rainbow twirler. Maria shook her head at him before putting the twirler in her back pocket. He let out an annoyed groan as he stomps passed Maria. Natasha wasn't entirely sure if it was pure enjoyment or a drunk form of realisation but Maria quickly caught the rainbow fabric that fluttered against her side thanks to Clint being a poor sport. Giddily smiling she looks at Natasha then Clint.  
*"Hahaha! I got a rainbow tail now."  
———

Nervously stepping from left foot to right foot right outside the small gas station Natasha kept checking her phone as the minutes passed by. Clint was pressed against the wall next to her failing miserably to keep up right. She quickly abandoned her previous motion to start pacing back and forth. No one else was in there when Maria went in and the clerk was there ready to help her. It was taking to long. Shaking her head she quickly walks up to the sliding door and opens it only to find everyone in there looking confused.  
*"What's taking so long?"

Maria's sad blue eyes catches her own.   
"Card won't go through."

A glance over Maria's shoulder showed, what Natasha can assume, the new clerk looking at the cash register confusingly. His brows furrowed and fingers tapping away at the thing.  
-"Ma'am, the card has already gone through... I think."  
A hefty looking lady suddenly appears from the once closed door right next to the new guy. She took one look at Maria and Natasha before letting out a heavy sigh.   
-"You gotta enter in the code."  
Her voice bored and annoyed made Natasha stare at her in warning.

Maria grabbed Natasha's arm roughly. Her body swaying against Natasha's stillness made both people behind the counter look more annoyed. Another look of warning from Natasha scared them enough to continue working on what happened with the card and the new guys small mistake.

"I don't know what to do! I want cigarettes!" Maria drunk is always an odd thing to behold to Natasha. Almost as if she had two personalities trapped within her. One a relaxed, no bullshit, funnier version of her normal self then the other clingy, lost, and emotionally soft both still held that faint southern accent. 

Natasha snapped out of her brief haze. Looking over the scene before her one last time she quickly pulled her 'wallet' out from her pants packet. Too much time has been wasted here to be comfortable.   
*"Here, take my money. It's fine. I wanna get out of here anyways."

Maria looked down into Natasha's eyes as moment of panic flashed through them. Hesitantly stretching out her arm she stops just before grabbing the wallet.   
"You sure?"

Nodding distractedly Natasha looks around to find where Clint has gone to and check if there was other customers waiting to pay. Everyone that had stopped at the gas station seemed to be using their cards instead of cash which was good for them. Scooting over more Natasha felt Clint push past her walking confidently over to the small selection of beer the gas station had stocked. It was really time to depart back home away from this anxious mess.  
*"Yeah, it's fine. I just want to leave."

The new clerk looked up in alarm at Maria. His mouth hangs open partly as she shoves the money at him. Natasha backs away slowly from the entrance hiding herself behind a large cigarette poster stuck to the window. Only just being able to see the two getting more irritated at the three of them.  
-"The card already went through! It's paid for." The new guy yelled a little too loudly. Maria was too busy fumbling around with the wallet to have properly heard the poor man. Natasha watched closely as he quickly goes to reach for Maria's arm only to have the hefty woman smack his hand back down. She snarled angrily as she directed him on what to do now.   
-"Look, just cancel and take the money." Clint, somehow, at that exact moment fell right into the rack of chips making that plus the one behind it to crash onto the ground. His slurred sorry's fell on death ears.

Being nearly completely sober now Natasha grabbed Maria and Clint by their arms dragging them away before something terrible happens.  
*"Let's go..."

Clint happily shakes off Natasha’s hand as soon as the gas stations small metal sign came into view. Running up to it he kicks the signs edge only to have it not move at all. Being pressed against the window he was able to somewhat hear the mess going on inside before making his way in there as well. He decided they had ripped off Maria and needed to pay for it.  
"Hey, you gotta flip off the sign. They screwed us over. Unless, you're a bitch." He said pointing to Maria. As if a force was pushing him he started to stumble backwards passed the sign and into the bushes just behind it. Maria looked up from her pack of unopened cigarettes glaring at him in irritation.  
*"I'm not and you know it!"

Causal as ever Clint righted himself and brushed off his shirt before shrugging innocently at Maria.  
"Hey, if you don't wanna do it then don't... Pussy."

Prying Natasha’s helping hand arm her arm Maria angry walks over to the sign and a retreating Clint.  
*"You know what!" She shouts loudly just as she thrusts both fists at the sign flipping them off. Unintentionally leaning into the sign she drags her hands down it still flipping it off and in that moment cutting up the back of her hands as well. Natasha quickly grabbed Maria by the arm again pulling her close to examine her hands.  
*"There. Happy now you demanding brat."   
———

After the three came home Maria ended up getting very sick. So sick, in fact, Clint mentioned calling an ambulance more than twice to Natasha who was going back and forth throwing away and re-lining the small trash bin Maria was throwing up in. It lasted 3 hours before everyone was sure she wouldn’t be sick again. Natasha forced her to lay down on one of the big couches. Being concerned and the big softie Natasha is towards Maria she gave her some water to sip on and let her sleep on top of her. Despite Maria being taller and being a human blanket Natasha actually liked it a little more than their normal cuddling. 

So here they are now waking up at 7 in the morning. Clint being the only one that slept upstairs.

*"...I hate life so much." Maria mumbled into the crook of Natasha’s neck. She felt Natasha rubbing comforting circles on her back. A soft hum of agreement could be heard as well.

Loud stomping coming from the stairs made both of them glare in that direction. Clint slowly came into view looking miserable and confused. Maria shook her head before hiding her face again. 

"I peed myself." Clint declared staring at the top laying on the couch. 

Natasha let out a large breath of air fighting to hold off her laughter.  
*"W-wha- Hahahaha! What?"

Scratching at his head Clint just shrugs at the question looking more confused.  
"I woke up on the ground somehow, since I remember laying in my bed, covered in my own pee. Don't. Tell. Anyone."

 

*"Hahaha." Maria’s laugh was soft and painful. She turned to look at Clint with amusement shining within her eyes. Natasha went right back to rubbing small comforting circles on her back.

Crossing his arms Clint leaned onto the railing smirking.  
"Hey! At least I wasn't a white girl for hours puking up black shit."

*"Be nice. I have blackmail now." Natasha said sternly. Her glare sending Clint back up the stairs quickly in fear.


End file.
